El ulwimi lomzimba Yinkalo ebalulekileyo yonxibelelwano lwabantu. Ngasinye sezimbo zomzimba wethu, indlela esima ngayo nangenkangeleko yobuso idlulisela inkcazelo edla ngokuphelelisa, eyomeleza, okanye ede iphikise amazwi ethu. Olu hlobo lonxibelelwano olungasebenzisi lizwi ludlala indima ebalulekileyo kwindlela abanye abasijonga ngayo, nokuba kukwimeko yemihla ngemihla okanye esesikweni, njengodliwano-ndlebe lomsebenzi, imiboniso okanye uthethathethwano. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga nzulu ngakumbi ukuba yintoni ulwimi lomzimba, ukuba luchaphazela njani ukusebenzisana kwethu, kwaye kutheni kubalulekile ukululawula, ngakumbi kwiimeko ezisemthethweni.
Xa sithetha nabahlobo, umzekelo, sidla ngokwenza izimbo zomzimba ezizenzekelayo ezinjengokuhambisa izandla zethu okanye ukuncuma, ezibonisa iimvakalelo zethu ngokwemvelo. Nangona kunjalo, kwimeko esemthethweni, ezi zenzo zinokuchazwa kakubi ukuba azilawulwa, kwaye yingakho kubalulekile ukufunda ukuzilawula.
Yintoni ulwimi lomzimba kwaye kutheni lubalulekile kwiimeko ezisesikweni?
Ulwimi lomzimba, njengenxalenye yobubanzi ulwimi olungenantlonelo, iquka iintshukumo kunye nokuma esikuthathayo xa sisebenzisana nabanye. Uphando lubonisa ukuba kuphela I-7% yomyalezo wethu ihanjiswa ngamagama, ngelixa i-93% eseleyo ixhomekeke kulwimi olungathethwayo. Kule pesenti, i-55% ebalulekileyo ihambelana nolwimi lomzimba kunye ne-38% kwithoni yezwi. Le datha igxininisa ukuba amandla kunye nempembelelo umzimba unokuba namandla kangakanani kwindlela esinxibelelana ngayo.
Nangona kunjalo, kwiimeko ezisemthethweni ezifana neentetho okanye udliwano-ndlebe, intetho yomzimba engafanelekanga inokuwenza buthathaka umyalezo womlomo. Ngokomzekelo, ukunyakaza okuphindaphindiweyo okufana nokutshintsha ubunzima ukusuka kwelinye inyawo ukuya kwelinye, ukuxubha izandla zakho okanye ukuchukumisa iinwele zakho kunokubonakalisa ukuxhalaba okanye ukungazithembi, ukuphazamisa ukuthembeka kwento esiyithethayo. Khusela a ulawulo olululo lolwimi lomzimba Kungundoqo ekuboniseni ukuzithemba kunye nokhuseleko kula maxesha abalulekileyo.
Ukongeza, ulwimi lomzimba aluncedi kuphela ukuhambisa umyalezo ocacileyo kodwa, xa luhambelana nomyalezo womlomo, yomeleza umanyano kwaye inqanda umamkeli ekuboneni ukungahambelani okunciphisa ukusebenza konxibelelwano. Kwabo baqhuba udliwano-ndlebe lomsebenzi, imiboniso yemisebenzi okanye uthethathethwano, lo ngumba ongenakuze ungahoywa.
Ukubaluleka kokujonga kunxibelelwano
Enye yezona nxalenye zibalaseleyo zolwimi lomzimba jonga. Amehlo atyhila okungakumbi kunoko kuthethwayo, kwaye kwiimeko ezisesikweni, ukudibana kwamehlo kunokugqiba ekwenzeni ukuthembana nokudlulisela ukhuseleko. Izifundo ezahlukeneyo zibonisa ukuba ukujonga ngasekunene kuhambelana nokuthembeka okukhulu, ngelixa ukujonga ngakwesobunxele kunokutolikwa njengophawu lokuphepha okanye ukukhohlisa.
Kwiimviwo zomlomo okanye kudliwano-ndlebe lomsebenzi, ukugcina ukudibana kwamehlo okwaneleyo kubalulekile. Oku akubonisi nje ukuba unikela ingqalelo, kodwa kudala imvakalelo yovelwano kunye nokunxibelelana nabaphulaphuli. Nangona kunjalo, ukudibana kwamehlo kufuneka kulinganiswe: ukujonga ngokugqithiseleyo kunokudala ukungonwabi okanye kubonakale kusongela, ngelixa ukukuphepha kunokuhambisa ukungaqiniseki.
Ingcebiso elungileyo yile ukudibana kwamehlo ngenye indlela, ukujonga amanqaku ahlukeneyo kwimekobume ukugcina ingqwalasela ngaphandle kokubonakala isoyikisa.
Indlela izimbo zomzimba ezinokomeleza okanye ziwenze buthathaka umyalezo wakho
Los izijekulo ezizenzekelayo Ziyenye inkalo esisiseko yolwimi lomzimba. Ngokutsho komphengululi uPaul Ekman, izimbo zomzimba zinokutyhila inkcazelo ekuzama ukuyifihla intetho yomlomo. Ngokomzekelo, abantu abazama ukuxoka badla ngokuzikhathaza kakhulu ngokuwalawula amazwi abo kangangokuba bade balibale ukulawula izandla zabo, indlela abamile ngayo okanye inkangeleko yobuso, nto leyo enokubaphazamisa.
Kwelinye icala, izimbo zomzimba zangabom nezilinganiselweyo zinokuwubethelela umyalezo. Ukuhambisa izandla zakho ukwenza ingongoma ephambili okanye ukuphakamisa amashiya ukuze ugxininise into ethile, ukuba yenziwe ngokulawulwayo, kunokongeza impembelelo enkulu koko kuthethwayo. Noko ke, ukwenza izimbo zomzimba ngokugqithiseleyo kunokubaphazamisa abaphulaphuli kuze kwenze umyalezo uphelelwe ngamandla.
Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukufunda isijekulo ngokuphakathi, ukusebenzisa ukunyakaza kwezandla ukuqinisa iingongoma eziphambili ngaphandle kokuphazamisa okanye ukugqithisa.
Indlela yokufunda ukulawula ulwimi lomzimba?
Ukuphucula ulawulo lolwimi lomzimba, kukho iindlela ezininzi ezinokukunceda wenze umfanekiso oqinisekileyo kunye nokuzithemba:
- Ziqhelanise phambi kwesipili: Ukujonga indlela oshukuma ngayo kwaye uziveze ngelixa uthetha kunokutyhila. Oku kukuvumela ukuba uchonge isimilo esingathethiyo esinokuthi sivelise uvalo okanye ukungazithembi.
- Buza impendulo: Abahlobo okanye usapho banokujonga izijekulo kunye neentshukumo zakho kwiimeko zencoko. Imbono yabo yangaphandle inokukunceda uchonge izijekulo ongaziboniyo uwedwa.
- Lawula ukuma: Ukugcina ukuma okuvulekileyo nokukhululekileyo kubalulekile. Ukuwela iingalo zakho okanye ukuthatha indlela yokuzikhusela kunokudala uluvo olubi. Endaweni yoko, khulula iingalo zakho kwaye ugcine ukuma okuthe nkqo kodwa okukhululekile.
- Imithambo yokuphefumla: Ukuphefumla ubukhulu becala kulawula iintshukumo zemithambo-luvo. Ukuziqhelanisa neendlela zokuphumla kunokukunceda uphephe iintshukumo ezizenzekelayo ezibonisa ukungonwabi.
Ngaphaya koko, ubuchule obuluncedo kukufowuna ubuchule besipili, equka ukulinganisa ngobuchule kakhulu iintshukumo zomntu osebenzisana naye. Oku kudala uxhulumaniso olungasebenzisi magama kwaye kunokuvelisa iqondo elikhulu lovelwano komnye umntu.
Ulwimi lomzimba kubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu
Ngaphandle kweemeko ezisemthethweni, ulwimi lwethu lomzimba lunempembelelo ebalulekileyo kubo bonke ubudlelwane bethu phakathi kwabantu. NgokukaRay Birdwhistell, uvulindlela kwizifundo zekinesis, yethu unxibelelwano olungenamlomo Yifestile enyanisekileyo kwiimvakalelo zethu. Ngokufuthi, singaqondanga, umzimba ubonakalisa oko sivakalelwa ngokwenene, kwanaxa amazwi ethu ethetha ngenye indlela.
Kwindawo yokusebenza, umzekelo, ulwimi lomzimba lubalulekile udliwano-ndlebe, uthethathethwano kunye neentlanganiso. Abaqeshwa abagcini nje ukugweba ubuchule bethu ngento esiyithethayo, kodwa nangendlela esithetha ngayo. I-slouched posture okanye izijekulo zovalo zinokukhokelela ekubeni ubonwe njengomntu ongathembekanga kubuchule bakho. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ukugcina ukuma okukhululekileyo, uncumo lokwenene kunye nezimbo zomzimba ezilinganisiweyo zinokubonisa ukuzithemba kunye nobugcisa.
Kwelinye icala, kwiimeko ezisondeleleneyo, ezinjengolwalamano lobuqu, intetho yomzimba inokunceda ekomelezeni amaqhina okanye, ukuba ayilawulwa, idale ukungaqondani. Yiyo loo nto ukwazi indlela esihamba ngayo kwaye yeyiphi imiqondiso esiyinikayo kubalulekile ukuphucula ubudlelwane bethu.
Ukufumana ezona ziphumo zibalaseleyo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba siziqhelise kwaye siyiphaphele indlela izenzo zethu ezibachaphazela ngayo abanye. Ngokuhamba kwexesha kunye nokuziqhelanisa, ukulawula ulwimi lomzimba kuba sisixhobo esinamandla buqu kunye nasemsebenzini.
Ukufunda nokulawula ulwimi lomzimba aluloncedo kuphela kwiimeko ezisesikweni, kodwa sisixhobo esixabisekileyo sokuphucula unxibelelwano lwethu lwemihla ngemihla. Ukulungelelanisa nokulawula iintshukumo zethu, izijekulo kunye nokuma kungenza umahluko omkhulu kwindlela abanye abacinga ngayo ngathi, ukuvumela unxibelelwano olusebenzayo noluhambelanayo.